To Be [Public] Or Not To Be

In September 2014 I started a 4 year Law and Business degree in Trinity College Dublin. With no experience of college before, I just presumed my days would revolve around, naturally enough, Law and Business, and making the odd friend or 2 along the way. How wrong I was.

I got my first taster that something was different when I went in for the first week. I had missed the first day due to my son being born so went in on the second day grinning like a Cheshire Cat, dying to tell anybody who would listen (or not) that I was a new Daddy. It was on that day that we got to meet our Student Mentors. These mentors are part of a program called Student2Student.

They provide information on your course, places to watch out for, fantastic little tips and most importantly encourage engagement with your new college group mates. The part that fascinated me was their enthusiasm, they were doing all this for free, on their own time and genuinely seemed to enjoy every moment of it.
Throughout that week I was blown away by the level of volunteering in college. The sheer amount of activities that are organised by students, for students, blew me away, and still does. I had fallen in love for the second time that week. Firstly by the amazing son that had come into our lives and secondly by this wonderful college that wanted me, and I decided there and then that I wanted to give back as much as I could.
Since then I’ve been involved with as much voluntary activities as I can possibly manage. A couple of weeks in I became treasurer of the Student Parent Society. I’m also the Student Parent Officer for the college and advocate on behalf of students who have children. I’ve been helping people quit cigarettes in a smoking cessation group, took part in a healthy living campaign. I’ve mentored students who come in for open days and went out to speak to prospective mature students. The list could go on and it will, as taking part in extracurricular activities is something I believe can greatly enhance your experience in college. I will do a separate post on why I find it so beneficial and go into much greater detail.
Shortly after I returned this year I was contacted by a member of staff, Clodagh, who is responsible for Mature Students. Every year there is a week dedicated to promoting access to college for students of all ages called College Awareness Week. As part of this the college had arranged for a journalist from the Irish Times to shadow a mature student for the day. I was honoured that I would even be considered for this task, never mind offered the job! However, I felt that the journalist would probably want to know about my journey to college, and this was something that caused me to be conflicted. I really wanted to help out and promote education but on the other hand, my circumstances were not widely known. It was not just me to think about, my wife would need to be consulted too. I’m bankrupt, possibly soon to be homeless, had actually been expelled from school twice; was this something I wanted published by one of Ireland’s leading columnists?…. Yes it was.

I wanted to show that no matter what issues someone is facing, they can take something positive from it. I also wanted to show that there are people in all manner of situations trying to deal with debt and all it entails. I just had to convince my wife of it. Eventually she saw the value in it and I confirmed with Clodagh that I’d be willing to take part.
Shortly afterwards, I spent a fantastic day with the journalist, Roisin Ingle, showing her all that Trinity had to offer.

I had been apprehensive beforehand about dealing with a journalist and how they might try to get information from me. My fears were unfounded. I was totally honest with Roisin and she was absolutely wonderful. This was all confirmed by the beautiful piece she wrote about our day together.
The article was well received and I got some lovely feedback. It truly felt that it had been worthwhile. A few days afterwards I was talking to a fellow student I admire in college and work quite closely with. She commented that she had seen the article and thought it was fantastic. She also said that she saw I was losing my house and that made her happy. Happy because she wasn’t alone; she too is losing her house and didn’t think there was anybody in college in the same situation. Mission complete. I was happy then too.

Here’s the article: http://www.irishtimes.com/life-and-style/people/r%C3%B3is%C3%ADn-ingle-on-going-back-to-college-1.2428615

Sweet Success

Once again, I really can’t believe how fast the time has went. It’ll be 8 weeks tomorrow since I posted about my plans to cut out sugar. A awful lot has happened in those 8 weeks. Got back to college and dealing with the coursework, plus doing quite a bit of voluntary work in there too. Had my college grant cut due to some counter intuitive government bureaucracy.

My wife’s Granny died so I needed to step up to the mark and look after our 1 year old son on my own (ok, well with a little help from my own mammy) for 10 days while she went to Belarus for the funeral. Lesson learned, she is a super human and it is nowhere near as easy as she makes it look!

While this has all being going on, we’ve been having a drainage problem and having raw sewage coming up in our back yard, right up to the door. On top of this, we are due in court a week before Christmas regarding having our house repossessed. I’m not sure what will happen that day as it is the first court date. I’ve been advised that there will probably be an adjournment but this is far from certain. Nevertheless, I’ve being trying to put a Plan B in place in relation to our housing just in case we are out on our ear sooner than expected.

http://www.independent.ie/entertainment/banter/trending/hes-down-with-this-sort-of-thing-is-mayos-fr-john-kenny-irelands-trendiest-priest-31531138.html

So, all in all, pretty hectic 8 weeks. But let’s cut to the chase, I’m here to talk about me trying to cut out sugar and so far in this post there is a a fantastic song from the year I was born, plus a picture of an attractive young lady with a priest, and a mini rundown on how the last 8 weeks have been quite difficult. I spoke in the post 8 weeks ago about how I turn to sugar for some comfort when times are hard, and man, times have been hard!! We had events full of fantastic fairy cakes and treats. Halloween has come and gone with all it’s Haribo’d jelly fuelled goodness. I even went as far as making Rice Krispie cakes for a party and not so much as licked a chocolate covered finger. I channeled my inner, em… priest and reminded myself that some things just ain’t my thing. I’m actually quite proud of myself now for how close I can fly to the flame and not get burned.

It hasn’t been easy. The first week, my mood was definitely affected despite me trying to put on a brave face. I declared to people around me that I was now sugar free so I suppose they were forewarned. I also noticed a really distinct drop in my energy levels towards the end of week. Thankfully it didn’t last long. By the middle of week 2 I was back to feeling myself in the personality department and since then I have noticed something that I had never experienced with my energy levels, consistency. I justified much of my sugar intake because of a need to be awake and active for extended hours, but now I find that I don’t have peaks and troughs anymore. I feel my stamina for long days is greatly increased too.

I’m glad that these benefits were apparent so early on as they gave me a good stick to beat the cravings with. And cravings there were! I really never understood the onslaught of marketing we undergo that is trying to tap into our desire for sugary delights, until I tried to avoid it. After week 3, the cravings really dropped off. I’m genuinely indifferent when it comes to sugary foods.

I will admit that I had a couple of little slips. We had an Italian take away one evening and recently I had a bite from a scone. Both pretty innocent but in the interest of full disclosure I’d rather admit it.

On the exercise front I haven’t been so successful. I’ve been tapping away doing my 5k jogs when I can and cycling about 10k everyday in and out of college but I really need to start doing some strength exercises now, especially considering that the weight is coming off me and my wife has likened me to a cricket; not the look I was going for. I really need to introduce the same discipline into my exercise as I now have for my diet.

Everything considered, I’m feeling better, looking better (not my words), bounce a little less, fitting into clothes that I hadn’t fitted into in 8 years (my wife had them stashed) and weighing less than I have in 8 years too. I came in at 99.4kg today, that’s 7kg down in the last 8 weeks. I’m pretty happy with that as a sustainable weight loss.

My goal now is to keep up the healthy eating and really ramp up the exercise. I’ve no weight goal but I plan to be feeling even better in myself by the 18th of December, have put on some muscle and have my 5k down to 25 minutes. All attainable and all in the right direction.

The Elephant In The Room

My name’s Matthew and I’m (possibly) an addict.

For quite some time now I’ve known that I had a problem, some may say even an addiction. While embarking on this journey of drastic change in my life I knew it was something I would have to address. I suppose I thought that maybe it would just fall into place and once everything else was alright then my ‘issue’ would right itself.
There are numerous signs that it could be an addiction. I feel crap when I succumb to the temptation after yet again another failed attempt to stay away from it. Yes, momentarily it’s fantastic, almost euphoric in certain circumstances, and yes, I turn to it at tough times to make them slightly easier. It even goes as far as having secret stashes. Even with all this going on, it seems it’s not an actual addiction according to some experts in the field. It is more a love of the dopamine release than an actual physical addiction.
So now is the time, no more excuses to myself. I have an issue and I’m going to sort it. The last major vice I kicked was smoking. As my business was crumbling around me, I was smoking 40 cigarettes a day. The worse things got, the less money I had, the more I smoked. Something had to give. I’d never tried to give them up. I’d smoked one thing or another since I was 14, by this stage, at 28, I’d been puffing away for half my life. It all came to a head one Sunday evening. I returned to the house after having a cigarette in the garden and found my wife crying. Naturally I wanted to know what was wrong. She admitted that she had a severe tooth ache for some time but was afraid we didn’t have enough money to pay for treatment. Suddenly the enjoyment went out of my almost €20 a day habit. We got the money together and she went to the dentist that week. On that Sunday evening, while having another cigarette in the garden and contemplating the position I had put my wife in, I made a promise to myself that I would finish smoking forever next Sunday. I didn’t tell a soul. During the week I got back into the rough and tumble of trying to save my business, the cigarettes were once again a welcome crutch. I actually forgot about the promise I had made to myself the Sunday before, that promise that I hadn’t told anybody about, even my wife. I wouldn’t be letting anybody down by not sticking to it, sure nobody knew and most people understood I was under immense pressure at the time, I’d the perfect excuse to smoke. However, that would have involved lying to myself, and there was no way that way going to happen.
While having a cigarette that following Sunday I suddenly remembered the promise I had made to myself. It hit me like a tonne of bricks, BALLOX!, today is the day I have my last cigarette. In I marched to my wife, safe in the knowledge that once I made it public there was certainly no going back. Cigarettes crushed and into the bin. She was over the moon but a little unsure if I would be able to do it unassisted, no patches etc, just cold turkey. I was confident I could. I sometimes have a problem with moderation so I didn’t want a substitute, I wanted rid completely, otherwise it is very likely I would end up drinking those nicotine sprays or smoking the patches. It wasn’t like giving them up was going to kill me, quite the opposite in fact, so no matter how hard it was I’ll just battle through it. That was 2011 and I haven’t slipped once. I still miss them sometimes, but the cons far outweigh the pros of being a smoker.
Now back to the task at hand. I’m at another quite stressful period in my life and my reliance on a substance is troubling me. I can’t get enough processed sugar. It’s been a thorn in my side since I was teenager but I’ve never tried to properly address. I’ve tried cutting back numerous times, usually successfully but as I leave the door open for occasional treats I soon find myself

Mmmm Jelly Beans… Even looking at this makes my mouth water

back to square one and bingeing on it. I’ve lost almost 20kg in the last few years but I’m yo-yoing around 100-105kg at the moment, depending on how disciplined I am. I’ve still a considerable amount of fat to lose. I’ve a Baywatch body but unfortunately the wrong type. My bouncy moobs(man boobs) would put Pamela Anderson to shame. I’ve enough love handles to accommodate an orgy. Now is the time to dig deep and make a change, I’m not getting any younger so it won’t get any easier. On top of that, my son is now 1 year old and becoming very aware that you are munching on some sweets or chocolate, I don’t want him to grow up in a house like Willie Wonka’s Chocolate Factory.
So this is my plan. I will do it until Christmas and then review my progress. I need to be serious about it and give it the attention it warrants.
Cut out all processed sugar- If somebody in the manufacturing process added sugar to it I don’t want it. No adding sugar to anything I make myself. I’ll still eat fruit for the moment and look at my intake of that once I’ve got the processed stuff under control.
No allowances anymore- Previously, I have allowed myself 2 treats per week when I reduced my intake. If I went to a family event I would allow myself binge etc. Leaving the door open has meant I would easily slip back. No more allowances. Zero processed sugar
Make sure my wife hides any treats she has in the house- My wife is much more disciplined than me. She can keep treats just for that, a treat. That’s fine by me, but she’ll help me out by keeping them out of sight for the first few weeks at least.
Exercise more- I jog 5k 2 or 3 times a week and cycle about 10k 5 days a week. I’m going to make sure I get at least 3 jogs in per week. I recently got my 5k down to 27 ½ minutes. My first goal is to bring that down to 25 minutes by October 10th. I’ll also do some circuit training with body weight and kettle bells, more on that later.
Keep a clear reason in my head for doing it- I’ve 2 actually. The first is so my son isn’t exposed to so much crap. Secondly, for my son and my wife, I want to be healthier.
Stay off the scales- I weighed myself yesterday and I was 106.4kg. This means I’ve put on 5 kg over the summer. I’m not going to focus too much on my weight. If I was a lean 106kg I’d be quite happy. This is about how I feel about myself so that will be a much better measurement. I might jump on the scales once a fortnight but it the meantime I’m going to draw up some other measurements I’d like to take.
Smaller portions- Not directly related to sugar but while I’m at it I’ll address this. Smaller bowl of porridge in the morning, 1 slice of toast instead of 3, smaller dinner plate and portion etc.
So that’s it. I’m finished day 1 and feeling pretty good. Out for a jog in the morning and start working on that time. This will be the biggest lifestyle change I’ve made since I stopped smoking. Once again my mantra is “it aint going to kill you, quite the opposite”