My name’s Matthew and I’m (possibly) an addict.
For quite some time now I’ve known that I had a problem, some may say even an addiction. While embarking on this journey of drastic change in my life I knew it was something I would have to address. I suppose I thought that maybe it would just fall into place and once everything else was alright then my ‘issue’ would right itself.
There are numerous signs that it could be an addiction. I feel crap when I succumb to the temptation after yet again another failed attempt to stay away from it. Yes, momentarily it’s fantastic, almost euphoric in certain circumstances, and yes, I turn to it at tough times to make them slightly easier. It even goes as far as having secret stashes. Even with all this going on, it seems it’s not an actual addiction according to some experts in the field. It is more a love of the dopamine release than an actual physical addiction.
So now is the time, no more excuses to myself. I have an issue and I’m going to sort it. The last major vice I kicked was smoking. As my business was crumbling around me, I was smoking 40 cigarettes a day. The worse things got, the less money I had, the more I smoked. Something had to give. I’d never tried to give them up. I’d smoked one thing or another since I was 14, by this stage, at 28, I’d been puffing away for half my life. It all came to a head one Sunday evening. I returned to the house after having a cigarette in the garden and found my wife crying. Naturally I wanted to know what was wrong. She admitted that she had a severe tooth ache for some time but was afraid we didn’t have enough money to pay for treatment. Suddenly the enjoyment went out of my almost €20 a day habit. We got the money together and she went to the dentist that week. On that Sunday evening, while having another cigarette in the garden and contemplating the position I had put my wife in, I made a promise to myself that I would finish smoking forever next Sunday. I didn’t tell a soul. During the week I got back into the rough and tumble of trying to save my business, the cigarettes were once again a welcome crutch. I actually forgot about the promise I had made to myself the Sunday before, that promise that I hadn’t told anybody about, even my wife. I wouldn’t be letting anybody down by not sticking to it, sure nobody knew and most people understood I was under immense pressure at the time, I’d the perfect excuse to smoke. However, that would have involved lying to myself, and there was no way that way going to happen.
While having a cigarette that following Sunday I suddenly remembered the promise I had made to myself. It hit me like a tonne of bricks, BALLOX!, today is the day I have my last cigarette. In I marched to my wife, safe in the knowledge that once I made it public there was certainly no going back. Cigarettes crushed and into the bin. She was over the moon but a little unsure if I would be able to do it unassisted, no patches etc, just cold turkey. I was confident I could. I sometimes have a problem with moderation so I didn’t want a substitute, I wanted rid completely, otherwise it is very likely I would end up drinking those nicotine sprays or smoking the patches. It wasn’t like giving them up was going to kill me, quite the opposite in fact, so no matter how hard it was I’ll just battle through it. That was 2011 and I haven’t slipped once. I still miss them sometimes, but the cons far outweigh the pros of being a smoker.
Now back to the task at hand. I’m at another quite stressful period in my life and my reliance on a substance is troubling me. I can’t get enough processed sugar. It’s been a thorn in my side since I was teenager but I’ve never tried to properly address. I’ve tried cutting back numerous times, usually successfully but as I leave the door open for occasional treats I soon find myself
back to square one and bingeing on it. I’ve lost almost 20kg in the last few years but I’m yo-yoing around 100-105kg at the moment, depending on how disciplined I am. I’ve still a considerable amount of fat to lose. I’ve a Baywatch body but unfortunately the wrong type. My bouncy moobs(man boobs) would put Pamela Anderson to shame. I’ve enough love handles to accommodate an orgy. Now is the time to dig deep and make a change, I’m not getting any younger so it won’t get any easier. On top of that, my son is now 1 year old and becoming very aware that you are munching on some sweets or chocolate, I don’t want him to grow up in a house like Willie Wonka’s Chocolate Factory.
So this is my plan. I will do it until Christmas and then review my progress. I need to be serious about it and give it the attention it warrants.
Cut out all processed sugar- If somebody in the manufacturing process added sugar to it I don’t want it. No adding sugar to anything I make myself. I’ll still eat fruit for the moment and look at my intake of that once I’ve got the processed stuff under control.
No allowances anymore- Previously, I have allowed myself 2 treats per week when I reduced my intake. If I went to a family event I would allow myself binge etc. Leaving the door open has meant I would easily slip back. No more allowances. Zero processed sugar
Make sure my wife hides any treats she has in the house- My wife is much more disciplined than me. She can keep treats just for that, a treat. That’s fine by me, but she’ll help me out by keeping them out of sight for the first few weeks at least.
Exercise more- I jog 5k 2 or 3 times a week and cycle about 10k 5 days a week. I’m going to make sure I get at least 3 jogs in per week. I recently got my 5k down to 27 ½ minutes. My first goal is to bring that down to 25 minutes by October 10th. I’ll also do some circuit training with body weight and kettle bells, more on that later.
Keep a clear reason in my head for doing it- I’ve 2 actually. The first is so my son isn’t exposed to so much crap. Secondly, for my son and my wife, I want to be healthier.
Stay off the scales- I weighed myself yesterday and I was 106.4kg. This means I’ve put on 5 kg over the summer. I’m not going to focus too much on my weight. If I was a lean 106kg I’d be 
quite happy. This is about how I feel about myself so that will be a much better measurement. I might jump on the scales once a fortnight but it the meantime I’m going to draw up some other measurements I’d like to take.
Smaller portions- Not directly related to sugar but while I’m at it I’ll address this. Smaller bowl of porridge in the morning, 1 slice of toast instead of 3, smaller dinner plate and portion etc.
So that’s it. I’m finished day 1 and feeling pretty good. Out for a jog in the morning and start working on that time. This will be the biggest lifestyle change I’ve made since I stopped smoking. Once again my mantra is “it aint going to kill you, quite the opposite”
For Better or Bankrupt 